Sometimes an Ugly Duckling Stays ... Ugly, You Know?

The Ugly Friend

2006-04-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

I hear a lot of people, men mostly, talk about how when girls go out in groups, there's always an "ugly friend" that has been taken along to make the un-ugly friends look even more attractive by comparison. This may be true, but I don't know - I have never, to my knowledge, been the ugly friend.

In Fatty McBlog, one of the women talks about her trials and tribulations with skinny friends. I don't really have any comparable experiences with "pretty" friends. Yes, I envy them their attractiveness, but I never get the feeling when we go out that they're all "GUYS, look at her! At least I'm not HER! Date me!!!"

But now I'm wondering if maybe I'm having the opposite effect. Maybe I'm being used as a talisman against lame guys, because when me and my friends go out, we tend to stick together and guys usually don't approach us. But when my friends are on the lookout for hot guys, I don't get an invite to the clubs and bars and stuff. They say it's because of my work schedule, but I'm starting to wonder now if it's because it's easier for them to find hot guys that will approach them when I'm not there. After all, most guys nowadays want to make sure their boys hook them up, too. If there are three pretty girls and one fugly one, the guys aren't going to want to end up being the one with the fugly one, and they probably sense that they won't get play from any of the pretty ones if their fugly friend is left out. Maybe I should "invite" myself along next time they go out to the clubs and see what happens.

I Get Paid to Not Laugh

2006-04-07T02:56:00.000-07:00

Would people really do anything for money?

Porn - the industry - fascinates me. A part of me can't help but buy into the idea that to be a porn star you have to be physically desirable. After all, you're fueling people's fantasies, and there has to be SOME reason that so many porn stars get watermelon breasts (totally gross, IMO).

But my recent obsession with one particular porn star has gotten me wondering about the industry.

This is Kris Slater. He is, without a doubt, the hottest man I've seen in porn movies, and for anyone who WATCHES porn, the men are typically NOT hot. I mean, Ron Jeremy is the standard. And maybe that's by design - even though I know tons of other women who, like me, enjoy porn, and wish for some hot guys, and Kris delivers. But watching him has gotten me wondering if, for the right money, a male porn star would screw an ugly chick. Kris has screwed Latinas, blacks, and MILFs, so he apparently doesn't have a problem with ageism or racism. But a bonafied busted girl? I honestly can't see it.

Incidentally, there actually is a site called "ugly porn whores" or something like that, where "ugly" women pose naked. Most of the women are fat. It galls me to no end that fat = ugly in so many people's view. I am not fat but I shole am ugly.

Into the Breach

2006-04-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

New Stuff I Tried Today:

Clean & Clear Oxygenating Fizzing Cleanser
Bought From: Kmart at 34th street off Seventh Ave.
Cost: About $8
Company's Claims: Clean & Clear® Oxygenating Fizzing Cleanser is a unique formula, infused with oxygen, that provides a really deep clean. This cleanser starts out as a gel and instantly foams and fizzes when it comes in contact with your skin. You can actually see and feel the oxygenated foam lifting away the dirt and oil that can get trapped in your pores.

Review: Well, it ... smells good. Very ocean-y. But so far, that's about all I like about it. I have combo skin that tends toward the oily side, and my skin does better with gel formulas. That Stila Petal Infusions scrub + Phisoderm combo I had tried isn't working at all, so I thought maybe I needed something more cleansing. "Oxygen" in products is very 2001-02, but I liked the idea of a gel that turns into a foam without having to do a lot of work. And it does foam pretty good. You squeeze out a little, spread it over your face, and in seconds it foams up like shaving cream. Rinse, and you're done. It's neat, but it doesn't really DO anything. Also, it leaves my face REALLY tight, even after moisturizer. I'll try it a couple more times, then I think I'm going back to Neutrogena. It's a shame, too, because this product just seems SO cool.

***

So, after a disastrous date the other night, I posted a weepy, ranty post on CL, and I got some really awesome replies. So CL sometimes isn't the disaster area it can be. But in reading over my original post, I was stricken at how much money I'm throwing down the drain. Waxing, pedis, hair ... seriously, since even after all this, I'm still not attractive, I wonder if I should be saving this money or something. Take a trip, maybe or save for plastic surgery? Bikini waxing? First off, it hurts, and second, no guy has even SEEN that area in more than five years, so why bother? Being hairy doesn't bother me much, and shaving is easier. My hair ... urg. We black chicks LIVE for our hair, trust. And I spent years growing it long, so chopping it isn't an option even if I didn't already know that I'd look like Sideshow Bob with short hair. I may try to "alter" my beauty routine and see how much money that saves.